this blog is about me. my truth. my honesty & sometimes my denial. my experiences. my emotions,my highs and lows. as raw and open as i can be. just me. my health battles (whaddiya mean terminal??!!). my journey to discover my authentic self before time runs out. my evolution. the random thoughts that cross my mind, and the goings and comings of my sometimes hectic and not always interesting life! so grab a cuppa tea/java, or a glass of wine, get comfy, and vist for a while!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
i hate day 2...
i hate day 2. i really hate day 2. CYTOXAN is the drug of the devil. there just is no other way for me to put it. it steals my sense of smell, my taste, my hunger, my desire, my passion....it steals me. well, for about a month at least. pay no attention to that drug induced smile.
don't mind me, i'm just pissy because i can't enjoy this ice cream i so patiently waited til hubby went to bed to have... to sneak actually. i might as well be eating tin foil (mouth sores) and mud. now my once quiet stomach is beginning to churn, and the waves of nausea that are usually like background noise is getting louder. so i'm watching it melt. that's how bad it is. irony... sigh.... i hate day 2.
well, at least i'm still enjoying the little bit high left over from the great medications given as a parting gift - "thank you for playing chemo roulette, please come back soon". and thanks to one of my very, very nice chemo nurses who was so kind to slip me a several extra doses of (for me) the life saving Zofran for the overwhelming nausea and "green-ness" i experience soon after treatment. don't get me wrong, i'm still facing living hell in a few days, probably even more so because of the situation - my docs have significantly increased the doses of all the chemo drugs - so i'm scared - but the zofran is definitely going to make it at least a little bit bearable. now that i think about it... i bet ya that's why she gave them to me?! hmpf.
enough about all that depressing, boring, so not cute stuff. do you want to hear about how hubby just pissed me off?? nah.... you want to see some more pictures of my garden, don't ya?!? me too!!
these will bring you up to just two weeks ago, except for the pic of me in the hospital... that's from earlier today. lots of blooms this time... enjoy!
ps... thanks for the great feed back, i really appreciate it! and warning... i'm in love with zucchini blossoms:p LASTLY... i've got to figure this darn picture function - it can't be too darn hard, right??
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3 comments:
Oh man, I love the garden pics. And you can supposedly fry squash blossoms. Haven't tried yet, but sounds interesting.
And be strong during this chemo. A friend of mine once told me, we all hate drugs, but there was a time and place when these treatments weren't available. I try to keep that in mind. It's hard though. Praying for you during this time. And thanks for sharing your journey.
It has been a long time since I have been over here. You look good and gurl your hair is cute. I love how good your garden is coming along. If I tried to have garden, the ghetto squirrels would annihilate it. LOL.
I pray everything goes well with you. Take care.
hey you two - so glad to see you!
@ladylee - thank you for the lovely comments on the garden. and as for the medications and what not, you are so very right. i thank God for whoever came up the the idea for a port a catheter!
@shai - hey girl! LOL, yes, i do know all about them ghetto squirrels! thanks for the hair comment, i was/am in desperate need of a 'hard press'! but that will have to wait - gotta see just how much hair i'll have left, lol!
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