hey y'all!


hope your weekend was a great one. it was rainy and cold, the kind of days to do nothing because it's just too messy, light a fire, curl up with hot chocolate and read a book days. so i loafed around, procrastinating and skipping out on things i should have been doing - like chores, helping juan fold clothes, and washing ladybugs hair. i love her hair, but HATE washing it. it's beyond curly - as soon as i brush it out, it curls right back up as if it never know a brush or comb.




anyway, sunday i had to made a quick run to trader joes for a bag of lentils to go with dinner, and as usual, the parking lot was like a motorcross obstacle course. people totally not paying attention, doing their best to beat out the other for a good parking spot. fake smiles of acknowledgment as people rush to get to where ever they were going. i noticed a bit of a traffic jam as i headed to my T5, and just as i fell in into it and began to get settle for my drive back home, a young man walked up to the passenger side and tapped on the window - he really startled me. his car had stalled, the reason for the traffic jam, and asked if i could give him a jump, he had his own cables. a weird feeling came over me, and i looked him straight in the eye as i said "i'm so sorry you're stuck, unfortunately i can't help, i've got to get back...". he thanked me and flagged down an oncoming truck. i paused before backing out to see if he would help him.... nope. then as i made my way around to the exit/entrance, which was where the guy was stuck, i cased to see if anyone was helping... no luck.


the light changed and as i pulled off, an overwhelming feeling of guilt and abandonment came over me. i felt so bad, and it continued through the day, so i tried to figure out what that was about. why didn't i help someone in need. for no good reason really? that's not me. it drives juan crazy that i go out of my way to help people, if i can.


was it because it was cold and raining? that's not stopped me before. was it his appearance? that he looked a bit hoodlum-ish, as well as his car? again, that's not stopped me before. i didn't know, and it bothered me. so i thought on it for a while, and came to the conclusion that it had to me my instinct telling me to 'get'. for whatever reason, it wanted me, needed me, to get home.


did something bad happen later? like one of those crazy stories of coincidence? not that i know of. hey, who knows why i didn't stop to help. but i do know that i listened to my instinct, and 'got'! listening to it is something that can be so hard to do. learning when to and when not to heed it can be such a challenge,  especially us women.


we don't know what this universe holds for us and figuring out how to release it's blessings is an ongoing journey, but one of the keys, i feel, is our instinct, and learning to trust it.


just like faith.