Saturday, August 25, 2007

where and how do i begin? (yikes, cc's visit!)

cc and the kids came to visit and, well.... i really don't know what to say without saying something that i know i'd regret. not that it wouldn't be the truth, or anything mean. i never regret telling the truth. the issue is that i always say things about other people, that i would have no problem saying to them directly. well, except maybe my mom!! and i really don't know how to say what i'm feeling to her, or if it even needs to be said, without causing drama. hell, i don't even know what i'm feeling really because it was all so.... over the top! and she's a "close" friend! i'll have to get to that later once i've got some distance between the whole visit and right now.

speaking of friends, i feel like i've picked up a few that are quickly becoming close to my heart. two in particular are moms at lb's school and are and have been just great to me this last year while going thru my health drama's. and they have no reason to be. they just really seem to have great spirits. one, hmmm what name can i give her??? don't want to be too obvious here. let's see, lil l's mom? or how 'bout ll kool k? yeah, i like that one. the other? hmmm, ok, uh..... this is hard! BOW, yes!! so, my new specials are ll kool k(maybe kk - kool k - for short) and BOW.

all of that to come up with some names?! hah! i'm so silly, really i am. ok, so anyway, i'm drawn to them more than any of the other parents, moms. don't get me wrong, everyone at lb's school is really nice, have offered to help or has in some way. for example, it's a private school and we have to do a certain number of volunteer hours and at some point dh and i knew that there'd e no way we'd make it. well, someone stepped up to the plate and donated their hours!! i'm still overwehelmed by that gesture. i really don't think whoever did that know's what it meant, and still means for them to do that for us. i am making it my mission to find out who did it!! SERIOUSLY!

i feel so blessed to have gotten her into this school, and well, everything happens how and when it's supposed to happen. and again, i see why.... i had the siezure and brain injury suddenly last year in october (see previous posts), just after school started, so we knew NO ONE! and no one knew us. and kk just stepped on up to the plate, along with BOW in her way, as she got to know us over the school year. so, as the year progressed and turned into summer, i have developed a special place in my heart for these two special ladies. i look forward to seeing them when school starts and getting to know them better over the coming school years.

ok, now you've got background on some new folks in my life. other than getting lb ready for school and dealing with the dumb decision to go to disneyland and come back the day before school starts while still having the houseguests from hell visiting and dealing with health issues, not much is going on!! oh yeah, did i mention that we still don't know who the first grade teacher will be? not worried though. lb is prepared.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

major/minor hubby drama and b-day fun

it's much warmer these last few days. which is good for me in that my bones and joints ache awful when it's overcast and chilly. even though my doc's say there's no correlation- that's b.s.

well, dh and i had a bit of a spat yesterday and right now i am just so tired of him. tired of his 'shit'. just how he can be at times. here i am dealing with, living with, fighting with a few little life threatening illnesses (see previous posts), and it's like he dips in and out of the situation, i don't want to fight with him too! ok, so yeah, it's alot for him to deal with. i totally get that. i guess that's why he can acts like an ass at times. which is why i let a lot of shit slide with him.

don't get me wrong, he can be just F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S, alot of the time - given the situation. hell, he loves me and it shows. we are really good together and i love that, and i love him. but geeez louweez...!!! just a bad day for us.... oh well....

anyway, lb (ladybug) had a few birthday party's this weekend, and we went to just two. they were her classmates and it was great to see the kids and the parents too! many of her class mates have grown so much, i was surprised! they're all starting to loose that bay look about them. but it was fun to see her run around and playing with her friends again. she's realy missed them this summer. only a few weeks ago did she finally get the fact that she's out of school for the summer.

well, cc and the kids will be here tuesday, and then we're off to disneyland next saturday. yep, i'm crazy to go to d'land and get back to town the day before school starts. nuts! i pray it won't screw up her shcedule. yeah, right.....

be well :)

Monday, August 6, 2007

been too long

hi ya! yes, yes, it's been too long! i've been very much under the weather lately. i hope i'm not trying to have a flare. i've been pretty busy with ladybug - she's home for the summer, and dh has been gone ALL month on business travel for work, so i've been by myself with her. i've had a few more siezures than normal as well, but i think it's just because i've been doing alot more than normal.

ladybug went to atlanta to stay a week with mil (mom in law) and family, so dh and i went on a nice little jaunt to catalina island last week. it was so nice to be away. i was exhausted when we left, and am even more so now! i was a bit anxious too which didn't help. why? well, ladybug is only 5 yo and i wasn't sure if she was ready to be that far away from me, and hubby said she'd be staying all over the place with no one really taking off to be with her. well that freaked me out and i wasnt having it!! but i should have known better. he has a flair for the dramatic that he'll never admit too, and it drives me crazy to no end. so i called mil to see what the h*** was going on. all was fine.... that darn hubby of mine.....arrrrrgg!

so ladybug did just fine and had a ball. i'm so happy for her!! she's an only child, and the only girl on both sides, so i worry at times that she's having fun. but, hey, there's only so much i can do. she's an only child, it is what it is i'm afraid. so i'm sooooooo beyond thrilled to have her back. i worried a little and prayed a bit more. but she's home!!! my god i missed her. and yet i didn't. something to explore on another post. the pangs and odd feelings of moherhood. hmm....

the other reason i was anxious was that i haven't been on an airplane for i dont know how long, and i hadn't been cleard by the docs to fly. so i didn't know how my body would react. i was just fine. i had a few siezures once we got there, and back, and i managed to do alot of walking before i gave in to huby's pestering me about a wheelchair, so i'm happy with how i did! i feel like that was a test for the upcoming trip to disneyland i'm taking with my sister/friend cc and her 2 kids in a couple of weeks. i'm very excited!! i haven't seen her in so long, and i don't remember her daughter, who's my goddaughter. i just have pics of her to look at. plus ladybug and her son are very close too. i just miss cs and will try not to cry when i see her.

there are really only two women in my life that i share 'me' with. cc and d-monie. they are my sisters in the very essence of the word sister. i love them and i know that they love me. ironically, neither of them have met. hopefully i can get them together. i can't even say that they know much about each other. i'm not one to talk about other people to other people, even if it's nothing major. i know they know of each other, that the other's married with kids, but i think that's it. i've never felt comfortable talking about other people. however, i dont mind them talking about me though. because i know them. we are all very much alike in the best way, and yet different in the best way. i love that. they both are very creative - d is so stylish; cc is very organized. they really help me be a better person. i love 'em.

errrg! the doorbell! the tv repair man is here, again. my cousin came over a couple of weeks ago, just wouldn't leave, stayed the night, and just destroyed my house, along with the tv. she's going thru a divorce-maybe. i'll fill you in on that drama later, now that i can talk about!!.....a hot mess!!

be well :)