Tuesday, December 25, 2007

still such a lucky girl

i am so very blessed.

the house is quiet right now, juan and ladybug are napping, and i am sitting in my favorite spot in the house-in the corner of my big comfy dark blue sofa, slowly being eaten up by the cushiness of it. the sun is shinnin down through the big box windows here in the living room, filling the house with a warmth and glow, and the way th sunlight caresses and bounces off the dark wood floors, it's quite like a soft hug. it makes me so full and content. peacful really. the quietness, stillness got me to thinking, and i am taking stock. i have a great life.
it's my birthday today. i am a year older and wiser. and i feel it. but yet, i don't. i'm thinking about the changes i've been through, and what lies ahead. i'm the type of person that likes and thrives on certainty. knowing, in a way, what comes next. because of my health, there is none. so i often wonder. what is next for me?
i sense in my spririt a major change or shift coming, or that i'm already in the middle of it. i'm excited, yet very scared. but no matter what, i know that i am very blessed.
and yes, it's my birthday. that usually means that i'm suppose to get gifts from others in celebration of it. but really, what i would like to do is to give a gift to every person who has touched my life in all the big ways, but also in all the little ways, both good and not so good. those little pearls have been true gifts to me. for example, someone very close to me said a long long while ago that it's ok to not know what want, but you better damn well know what you don't want. and that has saved me so much greif over the years, i cannot tell you. an invaluable lesson. so i want to say "thank you" to them because they have helpled shape me to be who and what i am today. and i really like who and what i am... most of the time, and i'm working on that, but that's another post.
i have a great life (even with the ups and downs). and i am so very blessed. happy birthday to me.

be well.

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