Saturday, February 14, 2009

what do you do when he HATES valentines day?

you love him anyway.

yes, i must come out of the closet with this one. my dearest hubby HATES valentines day. he feels it has now become way too commercialized. and i get where he's coming from and i agree. really. the love you have for someone should be celebrated everyday. in many little and big ways. and he and i do. now, i'm not the mushy cheezy kind that gets all into it either. it's just that.... well...

he's made it extremely clear that he's not either. and it's been difficult for me these 17+ years with him. to be with someone i love who is violently opposed to this day of love. now don't get me wrong... he has totally come through on this front in ways that has blown my mind and also has left an "awwwe...he is amazing!" on the lips of friends and family. but you see, he's very public with his show's of love. other than love making, it's very minimal, and i usually have to initiate most forms of affection. it just doesn't occur to him...unless it occurs to him.

i am an affectionate person. not needy. just affectionate. not necessarily into "pda" (public demonstrations of affection), but reasonable and relevant shows of affection. hand holding. a rub here, a gentle touch there. and my favorite---great, mindblowing, intriguing, intimate, casual, soul bearing, matter-of-fact, "hey babe, how's your day?...well..." conversation. yes. conversation. its like foreplay for me. especially anything deep and intense and revealing..any topic..just deep and intense and revealing. but that's not him. mr. passive agressive.

so.. i got a couple of beautiful bouquets of flowers delivered to me beginning yesterday. my favorites. the card that came was anonymous, but the words were wonderful. something about being strong, courageous, inspiring, beautiful... all the stuff you'd want to be on a card that was with delivered flowers. i immediately suspected my daddy. that's totally like him!! but no, him it was not. i was very suspicious of hubby because i had figured that he had given in. after all, they were a combination of my top 2 most favorite flowers.

nope. not him.

my gut agreed with him. those were'nt his kind of words. and he would have NEVER had flowers delivered to me. NEVER.

so fast forward to today. this time rose came. and the card a bit more intimate. with talk of my sexiness, and how tinking of me makes them a happier person. that they love and admire me from afar. .... what the hell?!?

nah... had to be juan.

nope. not him.

this time he got a bit huffy puffy at the fact that i asked him intensely if it were him this time or not. "well, send them back" he said. lol!

i called the flower company and they said they'd check to see if the sender wished to stay anonymous. they did. but, the customer service rep did let slip that it was "a man" sending all the flowers. i am definately intrigued. theflowers are gorgeous. and i find myself wishing it was juan, not some far off admirer. i also found myself wishing that he gave a bit more of a damn than usual.

so, i was able to get my vday fix. beautiful flowers, sunshine, hugs and kisses from my ladybug and a card from my daddy. eventhough i didn't get it from the one i love. no cards. no flowers. no intimate dinner for two. no ... well, maybe some love making (of course he'll take that-but in his mind, it won't have anythhing to do with valentines day!!). what do you do when the one you love hates the day that you are to celebrate the love you have for one another all year long?

well, you love them anyway. in spite of themselves. because love truly rules. when you let it.

today is the day for LOVE---HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

be well :)


Lovebabz said...

LOL! You know I am not going to hear a bad word against my favorite husband WHO TOOK YOU TO PARIS! LOL!

But I do feel you. I am always amazed at how twisted folks get about this day. Celebrating this day doesn't discredit the other 364days in the year that love is gieven and recieved...LOL! I mean a candle is not diminished when it lights another candle.

I love simple tokens of love and lots of gifts... I do, I love lots of gifts...stationery, heart shaped paper weights, funny pillows, anything that says I know you intimately. I am rather easy to gift for I LOVE ANY GIFT LOL! You could paint a rock and sprinkle it with glitter and I am thrilled.

I love giving gifts too. I once hired a jazz trio to play for my husband in our living room! I once whisked him away in a limo to a Jill Scott Concert. I once took him to a FAB & Famous restaurant in NYC where we were the only guests complete with pianist (most restaurant can accomdate you if you book early enough and ask to come an 1 hour before the restaurant is opened--most love that romance factor)

You are right you love him inspite of his objections to the Day. I mean if this day makes someone you love happy, why wouldn't you celebrate it. Why wouldn't you put aside your own objections for the sake of the one you love. Why wouldn't you extend yourself for the sake of another

Sigh. We move forward in love.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

hate it with him if u love him

Princess Tinybutt said...

@ babz... i am SOOO very with you on this one too!! i mean, how difficult is it, if the one you love loves this day? especially if you are showing your love all the other days of the year?!?!? wtf is so hard about ONE MORE DAY??!?!? yeah, your post has me hot, lol! thx my love :)

@ dr. t... you know, i've done that with him for 17 years. because i loved him. but... done with that. because it's not ME. i'm not NOT doing me anymore. xoxo