We Got A Love Thang...

Today is my wedding anniversary and I’m going to let you in on some of my random thoughts and feelings about him, about us, and just some of how he is…

Wedding on the beach at sunset in Ocho Rios

Gosh I am in love with my husband. I love him. I truly do. And it has nothing to do with familiarity due to time. He’s the strong silent type - physically, emotionally, and character. That’s so sexy to me. And I know he loves me, adores me without question. All of me. COMPLETELY. I don't have to hide. He kisses my boo-boos. He believes… no, he knows I can do anything. He thinks I’m pretty. I think he is FOINE. We flirt with each other…. A LOT. I am his queen and he is my king. He is my biggest fan and loudest cheerleader. My personal bodyguard and protector. I don’t ever have to worry. He knows that I trust him to lead our family because he knows I have his back in the most fiercest of ways. We trust each other with our lives.

Musee D'Orsay Paris 2008

I love it when he sees me struggling to make it up the stairs. He comes behind me and whisks me up in his arms, quietly, gently. Yes, he’s sexy to me, still after 22 years. And I am to him. Don’t get me started about the lovemaking…. Yeah, still. Even after 22 years. “Dayum!”‘Nuff said.

I love the way he looks at me when he thinks I don’t see him. I love how hard he works for us. Though not the best communicator, he’s tender and loving. He loves our daughter in the way a dad should - active, engaged, and concerned. He combs her hair almost better than I can, and I love the way he looks at and watches her. He loves to laugh, sometimes too much, and always looks for the bright side no matter how pitch black it actually is. I love that he tempers me like chocolate and helps me get and stay balanced, sometimes with just a glance my way. A patient student, he allows me my mistakes while I figure out how to show him how to love me. He really does listen, even though he ignores most of what I say. He does not suffers fools, believes in femininity yet loves a strong woman. Has no problem donning an apron or hand washing my bras.

In first class on an Air France flight 2011

I love it when he works in the yard, or on the cars. I love his arms. His shoulders. His legs. I love cuttin his hair with clippers or shaving him with a straight razor and cream. I love his 3 o'clock shadow. I love when he gets in someone’s ass for being disrespectful. That bass in his voice.... yes.

We’ve been through it these last several years with my health. I mean things that would rip most marriages apart, but yet we are only stronger; we love and appreciate each other more and more. He can be amazing. 

Again, he is not perfect. I am not perfect. However, we are truly perfect together (most of the time, lol!!).  

Happy Anniversary to US!

 

He Was Great

i had a dog. his name was malik. he was great.

and i miss him so very terribly.

he saved my life. not once, but twice. well, actually, if you count the many times he reminded me to take my medications....  anyway, we had just bought our house, and i had taken part of the day off to scheduled all the service to be checked out and/or connected - gas, lights, cable, etc... and juan told me to take malik with me, give him a chance to check out the backyard since we hadn't actually moved in yet. all the workers cam and went, quite uneventful, until the cable guy came.

malik, 208 pounds at the time, a very lazy and unaffected creature, and in a way that was very much not like most dogs, normally could care less about most things, especially if they're humans talking business. but milliseconds before the doorbell rang, he went BANANAS. i - mean - B.A.N.A.N.A.S.  i had never seen him like that - barking and snarling and jumping. he was behaving in such a crazy way that i had to take him outside. while there, he ripped the screen door off and i was afraid he was going to break through the sliding glass door! malik clearly didn't like this guy, who kept begging me to come inside and go upstairs to show him what should go where. mind you, we hadn't moved in a stick of furniture yet, it was obvious where the connections were and there was nothing for him to take.

ultimately the guy finally left, discouraged and clearly afraid of malik. before he pulled away in his truck, i get a call from the cable company dispatcher saying their guy can't make it because the previous appointment ran over. almost on cue, malik, looking for an ear rub as reward for his performance, nudged me out of my shock and i was able to gather my wits about me and get part of the guys license plate and call the police. they caught him at the entrance of our subdivision. i won't go into too much more detail, but will say that that guy had been robbing, beating and molesting women in the area.

tears. he truly was great.

he had a way with ladybug that was just amazing. there's a commercial running now where this humongous great dane allows a little girl to dress him up and paint his nails. yep, malik. he was her body pillow, her pacifier, her partner in crime. when she was 2 years old and wanted a snack, she'd bat her eyes at him and he knew his mission. i always kept a bowl of fruit and her favorite crackers on the bar counter, and in only his stealth way, he'd get on his hind legs somehow and get her snacks. i still have no idea how he could do it.

and oh that face. that lazy, "ah, c'mon" or "who...me?", or "don't even think about grabbing that lead and talking ME for a walk" look.

i ache for him. tears.

there's a song that i've had on my ipod for at least a year, don't remember when or how i found it, but it's now used in a fabulous purina dog commercial. now, i don't mean to begrudge my cat loving friends and followers, but... there's just something about dogs. especially my dog. malik. and this song, along with the commercial, makes me miss him so much more.

he's been gone for almost 4 years now. but he's with me every moment. every day. 

i had a dog. and he was great.

Malik ~ 1996-2009 

what love is for me

love is my husband. i love him. i truly do. and it has nothing to do with familiarity due to time. he's the strong silent type - physically, emotionally, and character. that's so sexy to me. he's sexy to me, still after 22 years. and i am to him. he's tender and loving. he loves our daughter in the way a dad should. active and concerned who combs her hair almost better than i can. he loves to laugh and always looks for the bright side. he listens. he believes in womanhood, but has no problem donning an apron and scrubbing the toilets, and i haven't done laundry or changed the sheets in at least 15 years. 

i love it when he works in the yard, or on the cars. how he looks at me when he thinks i'm not paying attention. i love his arms. his shoulders. his legs. i love cutting his hair or shaving him and his 3 o'clock shadow. or when he's getting in someones ass for being disrespectful. that base in his voice.... yes.

now don't get me wrong. he's not perfect. our love isn't perfect.
 

but he loves me without question. all of me. COMPLETELY. i don't have to hide. he kisses my boo-boos. he believes, no, he knows i can do anything. he thinks i'm pretty. he flirts with me. i am his queen.

we've been through it these last several years with my health. i mean things that would rip most marriages apart, but yet we are only stronger, we love and appreciate each other more and more. he is amazing. 

again, he is not perfect. however, he's pretty damn close to it for me.  

juan is love for me. 


 

Phenomenal Women

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!

hey y'all!
i hope you all are well. yes, it's been a while, and i'm so sorry that it's been a trend. i was having security issues with blogger, but hoping that they'll be resolved soon. with that said, let's dive in shall we?

in continuing on with what was supposed to be last years theme of being truly honest with myself, and the realization that i'd been hiding from my blog because of it, i realized that i don't talk much about my parents or other immediate family here. well the truth is that it wasn't a 'realization' at all really. i was hiding that part of my life on purpose for various reasons, but nothing deep and dark... at least not to me. (key words here "to me") that was the realization.

i don't have much of a relationship with my mom, and i don't talk much about her here because i know it would bother her deeply. she'd be offended, annoyed, and pissed. i'm sure of that because most of what i'd say wouldn't be flattering, unfortunately. she'd feel that i was revealing all things 'deep and dark', but, again, not to me. it would just be my truth. i'll get in to the in's and out's of all that latter. let's get to the heart of this post, which does has something to do with my mom really.

because of mommy (and dear daddy of course!) my birthday is on christmas, and my immediate family - her, my brother and his beautiful family (wifey and 4 boys!) - gathered to have dinner and celebrate each other and the kids. well, mommy dearest loves drama, so it was a guest as well. and in the aftermath of the drama, i discovered with such certainty something amazing...

that i am a truly blessed woman to have some absolutely amazing women in my life. strong, outrageously funny, beyond courageous, talented, determined, caring, incredibly intelligent, oh so beautiful... i could go on really. i am in awe of them every day. they fill me with joy, happiness, and laughter. they share themselves with me in ways that i am honored. they allow me to see life through their eyes, which gives me such amazing perspective. they comfort me, protect me, mother me, and remind me that i do matter in such a way that it's as if they birthed me themselves. they are some of my loudest and biggest cheerleaders. they are my cousins and friends, but in reality.. they are my mothers and sisters and i'm so thankful for them. i may not talk with them often, or even regularly, but they are loved, and i know they love me. more important, they continue to remind me that being a woman, and a mother, is an amazing thing.

i love you.

10 Years Ago Today... Ode to Ladybug

hi everyone!

10 years ago today God blessed me with a wonderful creature - Lauren Camille, ladybug. today is ladybug's 10th birthday. at 5:39pm and 17 seconds to be exact. wow. double digits. i'm actually, unexpectedly, having a hard time with it. ok parents of older, multiple kids... how do you handle your children growing up? how do you cope with the fear and anxiety of it all? so far, i've just focused on the positive and deal with whatever else comes up as it comes. i guess that's all i can do. i love her so.

she's a true miracle. i was told i couldn't conceive, let alone actually carry a child to term. i had already lost 2 before her, and once since (as recently as 3 years ago). i was sick for most of my pregnancy. really sick. and amazingly she was just fine. it got to the point where my body couldn't go on any longer, and ladybug was delivered at 32 weeks. a tiny tiny thing who needed no medical support at all. my OB/GYN still marvels at that. and my was she tiny. too tiny for me to touch - even the preemie clothing was too big for her! i was afraid of her. to look at her now, 10 years later, you'd never know she was a preemie. nothing but God. 

 I Have A Confession To Make:

i love ladybug. lauren camille. i love her. no, I LOVE HER. still no. that's not enough. those words just aren't enough. ok, i just looked up some synonyms for love: adoration, tenderness, affection, devotion, on and on.... nope, still not enough. not enough to truly capture and express what i feel about her. for her.

she makes me feel so many other things as well, that to me  all seem to be related to the love and pure adoration i have for her : frustration, passion, fear, frustration, anger, giddiness, fascination, and amazement. and the need to protect her and guard her with my life.

i find that all i want to do is touch her, hold her, kiss her. be near her. smell her, well.... not smell her all the time, she's now 10 after all, lol!. but you get what i'm saying, right? i love her nose, the way she pouches out her lips. i love just watching her. how she 'zones out' when she's totally into a movie. how her eyes truly light up when she's excited. the sounds she makes, hearing her make up a song about birds. watching her play by herself. i love her curly hair (most of the time), and i love it when she asks me questions and is really listening to my answer as if life itself depended on it. i love how she touches me. oh, to watch her sleep. especially that. how many of you check on your kids in the middle of the night while they're sleep? i do. i wake up and creep into her room, and listen for her breathing, a light snore if she's had a full day. if i can't hear her, then i creep closer, carefully though, not to wake her up. and touch her, to make sure, you know? yeah, you do. 

and the absolute best thing ever?? when she calls me 'mommy'. there's a particular way she says it that just makes my heart soar. and then there's the way she says it when she's up to no doggone good, lol. and yes, that one brings me joy too. 

it's not often that she's up to no good. really. juan and i are constantly wondering if and when the 'other shoe is gonna drop'. she was an easy baby. and easy toddler. and an easy kid. really. she's openly compassionate, caring, thoughtful, and empathetic. if anything, these things get her into trouble at times, because she's so busy thinking of everyone else that she forgets to handle her own business! she's not a whiner, comes home and gets right to her homework without much ado, doesn't complain about taking a bath, and is always looking for ways to help around the house. again - she'd rather help me unload the dishwasher and sweep the kitchen than clean her own room! 

now don't get me wrong, i'm not one of those parents who puts their kid on a pedestal, and feels they can do no wrong. ladybug is no angel and can be a real 'pill' if you know what i mean. she's notorious for telling it like it is, and will throw you under the bus in a new york second all in the name of truth. but a truly sweet and gentle soul she is. 

i just pray that she doesn't wake up one day and all has changed!

my favorite part of the day is the beginning. in the morning, she gets up and gets in our bed after juan has gone to work, and we laugh, cuddle, giggle, chat, and play before it's time to get ready for school. what a wonderful way for me to start my day! she, for me, is pure joy. it's a love that is total, complete, and all consuming love for my daughter. my joy. my ladybug. mmmmm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE

~ mommy

14 Years Ago Today...

greetings everyone!

surrounded by some of my most cherished friends and family on a beautiful jamaican beach at sunset 14 years ago today i said "I DO".

i said "I DO" to a man who is truly my partner, my friend, my critic, my lover, my loudest cheerleader and biggest fan. my caretaker. he see's the very best in me all of the time. even when i'm truly not at my best.

like most men, he's not perfect. his communication skills need work. he's stubborn. he often only hears what he wants to hear. he's a bit more then just a little narcissistic and passive aggressive. yes, he's far from perfect. but unlike most men, he loves me in the most perfectly imperfect way, and that's just perfect to me!

if you don't know by now, i can be a handful and a little bit more than a notion. i know my own mind and i can be as stubborn as a charging bull. i'm sure that at least twice each month for the last 18 of the total 21 years  we've been joined at the hip, my dear husband wonders what the heck he's gotten himself into by marrying me.


we've been through alot together. when the minister says "for better or for worse", no one truly thinks of the 'worse' really. in our simple, newly married minds the 'worse' is a vague and distant thing, almost intangible in a way. 'worse' happens to other people. well, it has happened/is happening to us. as many of you know i've been stricken with several nasty autoimmune diseases, one in particular has the distinction of being terminal (the nerve!!), and he and i have been through some things that would rip many couples apart.we are only better and stronger.

i am so very thankful for juan. for his poise. his quiet strength and knowing. his discipline. for his wit and ability to laugh at himself. his tenderness and care. i'm thankful for how he takes care of ladybug and i. for his trust. his gentleness. his willingness to do whatever it takes to make me happy. his honesty. but most of all, i am so very thankful for his love.

be well friends :)

we are always where we are supposed to be

hey y'all, 

** no, i'm not high anymore, just feeling crappy **

as you know, i wrapped up a round of chemo yesterday and am home. i have alot to tell about just that day, yesterday, but will continue with an amazingly divine encounter i had yesterday with another chemo patient. 

i bee-bopped in, as i always do, chatty and glad handing the nurses (my buddies) and any patients if there, since i usually get there early to get my favorite bed. we all know why we're there, some having their last battle, some are scared newbies, most like me - in a kind of purgatory/hell/limbo. life being held hostage by disease, with no time to mourn because we have to fight. 

so as i was bee-bopping in, i noticed a young lady, seemed young, and clearly uncomfortable, aggitated. she was on the phone at the time so i didn't get a chance to do my glad handing. as juan got ladybug and i settled in and unpacked (i'm there for 6 hours depending), i could feel that young lady's spirit. uneasy, frustrated, scared, tired. 

juan hung around and we chatted, flirted. the nursed goofed around with ladybug while she had her breakfast. then, once he left, the nurses got me re-hooked up, i got my laptop up, and ladybug was engrossed with her DSi, it was just us and it got quiet. and that young lady's spirit was raging. 

i couldn't help watching her, out of the corner of my eye mind you - didnt' want to seem like i was stalking her form across the room. i could just feel something about to happen. like vibrations. then the rage caught up and came out as the nurses were hooking her up. she broke down. 

everything in me ached for her, so i jumped out of my bed, practically ripped the i.v. pumps plugs from the wall, and some how, made it over to her bed and climbed in. the heavy petting my fantabulous chemo nurses do just wasn't enough at that moment. that young lady needed to be held. needed to be told it really would be ok, that she could let it out, be angry, tired, frustrated, scared, but that she still has plenty of fight left because she's made it this far, too far, to just give up and in now. so i did just that. then i wiped her tears, held her head as she vomited. 

in that moment, we connected on a level i can honestly say i never had before. we didn't even know each others names yet. after introducing myself, i gave her round two of my little 'stock' pep talk, let her know that she's a fierce warrior who deserves a 'break'. a 'pity party' even, but that she had to get up when done. and if she felt she just couldn't, then to call me, and that i will help her. 

interesting thing though... usually we have a full house - all four beds. but this day, it was just us two. we are always where we are supposed to be, at any given moment.

yesterday blessed me. wiping her face, letting her crawl up in my little lap, that somehow was able to hold her (i'm not called tinybutt for nothing!), those moments blessed me. filled me. and i'm so thankful. thank you april.

life is good. life is amazing. and i love it!


be well :)




and of course there's pictures!

guess who showed up, out of the blue, with treats! i love my daddy

 

look at that feast - double burger AND nuggets!

 

happy camper

nap time. isn't that MY bed?!

NaBloPoMo - Yes, it's been a while!

hey y'all!

yes, it's been a while since i've posted and in a way alot has been going on.

first, i'm going to kick my blogging off with trying my darnedest to participate in NaBloPoMo this month. it's when you post every day for one month continually on a particular topic. the topic for august is "Green" and other than talking about money and my garden, i have not other ideas, but hopefully more will come to me as i blog.

so for the updates:

- ladybug made it to the NATIONAL JUNIOR OLYMPICS in VIRGINIA!! yep, we are still amazed that she did it, and in 3 events - 200m, 100m, and the 4x100m relay! her medals are gorgeous and incredibly heavy. and yes, pictures of course!

- my life coaching practice (TurningPoint/Coach Angela) is definitely keeping me busy, and that's a good think because that means there are more and more women out there who are realizing their worth, and deciding to work on themselves, their relationships, they're financial, and employment situations. i'm working on new workshops for 2011, so stay tuned!

- i'm in the process of starting a charitable not for profit specifically for those recently diagnosed, fighting against, and more importantly, living with Lupus - THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT (site is under construction). i've selected the board members (and everyone has so graciously accepted), incorporated, filed state and federal tax exemptions for 501(c)3. i've got the state tax exemption, but the fed will take a while unfortunately. i'm working on the first fundraiser, but am going to wait til i've got everything i need to be able to say "your donation/gift is tax deductible". even though it's ok to do actual fundraising before the federal certification (i think you have up to 27 months), as long as you are incorporated and have at least the state certification. but until i get that i'd feel like i was taking peoples money 'unofficially'.

- health wise i've had my ups and downs - more downs in some areas, more ups in others. it's been a good year heart and lung wise, but not so much neurologically. we've been knocking around the idea of a bone marrow/plasma transplant thingy since late january (see short post), and like only i can, i've been putting it off. well, actually, i can't take all the credit. my doc's haven't been in agreement on whether or not to do the procedure because my heart and lung doctors, and rheumatologist are concerned that my heart/lungs can't handle the procedure. so we've been adjusting the medications and i had an intense couple rounds of chemo in february, and there's been no improvement, only decline.

so i start more chemo tomorrow morning and if there's no improvement, then we'll go through with the transplant procedures. hubby is not happy because he wants me to skip the chemo and get the transplant done. why? well he feels the chemo isn't working, and that all it does is make me sick with no payoff. i understand where he's coming from, it's tough for him to see me go through chemo. but i appreciate the doctors caution.


let's see.... i think that's it. so lets get on with the NaBloPoMo topic - GREEN.
and i'm going to give you a quick update on my garden! it's going like gangbusters! i'm a newbie so i've had a few mishaps, but nothing catastrophic. as a newbie i've made classic newbie mistakes like planting things waaaay to close, and not catching cabbage worms quick enough. but all in all, things are going well. i've managed to harvest 3 heads of broccoli, 5 zucchini, about 4 cups of green beans, and one small tomato.

i'll give you more on my garden in the upcoming weeks, so stay tuned!

i've got a new luvah....

take a look at him. a good look. isn't he just the mostest?! he's so sexy!! so hot! i can't barely stand it! oh yes, mama got a new luvah!

no, not him... that's my dear hubby breaking in my new baby! but he's cute too, huh? nothing like a man who knows his way around a kitchen.

anyway, i got a new stove!!! yes! major score! no, it's not the viking i wanted. it wouldn't fit and we aren't redoing the kitchen for a little while - fancy new cabinets, knobs, pulls, and a new faucet.

anyway. it's love.

be well :)

at the lords table

yes, i know its been a looooong time since i've posted. and i'm working on, out some things regarding the relationshop i have with my blog, so bare with me.

however, in the meantime, i'm here to post about my ladybug. yes, i have a relationship with God. i'm not big on specific, organized religion. i'm a 'recovering catholic' and attend mass about once a month. i do also attend non catholic church as well. i'm more spiritual than religious - take that how you will. for me, it's all about getting your spirit, your soul fed. it's also my responsibility to feed my child's soul, spirit and i do that in many different ways on a daily basis. one of which is teaching her the principles and catechisms of catholicism. yes, i'm 'recovering', however, i do love the solemnity, reverence for God, discipline, and accountability that it teaches.

so with that said, my child recieved her first holy communion yesterday, and it was a beautiful, joy filled, blessed day of love and fellowship.

we decided to have a small get together after the mass ceremony and i decided to keep it small. i only invited immediate family and ladybugs favorite people (except some of her classmates as they were having celebrations of their own). aunie 'D-money', auntie shannon, ms. glo, mr. P, ms. sunshine, all there to support her - the people missing were her auntie 'cc', uncle/goddaddy fred, uncle charles, and ms. babz. how blessed and fortunate am i that my own child loves the same people i do! the very ones that i consider my sisters and brothers - truly!

everyone was worried that i would over do it...whatever.... and spent most of their energy chasing after me. well, i did take it easy-i went to wholefoods, trader, and costco and got a few prepared meals. but you know me, i can never pass up an opportunity to cook. so, i just made a pasta salad of multi colored rotini noodles, baked chicken breast, mulit colored bell pepers, red onion, sliced grape tomatoes, parsley all dressed with my famous/secret creamy garlic-mustard viniagrette. YUM!! i also filled the house with flowers, another opportunity taken advantage of.

anwyway, it was a wonderful day and i am so thankful to know how much my child is loved.

be well :)

ps... i'll add more pics later. ciao!

what do you do when he HATES valentines day?

you love him anyway.

yes, i must come out of the closet with this one. my dearest hubby HATES valentines day. he feels it has now become way too commercialized. and i get where he's coming from and i agree. really. the love you have for someone should be celebrated everyday. in many little and big ways. and he and i do. now, i'm not the mushy cheezy kind that gets all into it either. it's just that.... well...

he's made it extremely clear that he's not either. and it's been difficult for me these 17+ years with him. to be with someone i love who is violently opposed to this day of love. now don't get me wrong... he has totally come through on this front in ways that has blown my mind and also has left an "awwwe...he is amazing!" on the lips of friends and family. but you see, he's very public with his show's of love. other than love making, it's very minimal, and i usually have to initiate most forms of affection. it just doesn't occur to him...unless it occurs to him.

i am an affectionate person. not needy. just affectionate. not necessarily into "pda" (public demonstrations of affection), but reasonable and relevant shows of affection. hand holding. a rub here, a gentle touch there. and my favorite---great, mindblowing, intriguing, intimate, casual, soul bearing, matter-of-fact, "hey babe, how's your day?...well..." conversation. yes. conversation. its like foreplay for me. especially anything deep and intense and revealing..any topic..just deep and intense and revealing. but that's not him. mr. passive agressive.

so.. i got a couple of beautiful bouquets of flowers delivered to me beginning yesterday. my favorites. the card that came was anonymous, but the words were wonderful. something about being strong, courageous, inspiring, beautiful... all the stuff you'd want to be on a card that was with delivered flowers. i immediately suspected my daddy. that's totally like him!! but no, him it was not. i was very suspicious of hubby because i had figured that he had given in. after all, they were a combination of my top 2 most favorite flowers.

nope. not him.

my gut agreed with him. those were'nt his kind of words. and he would have NEVER had flowers delivered to me. NEVER.

so fast forward to today. this time rose came. and the card a bit more intimate. with talk of my sexiness, and how tinking of me makes them a happier person. that they love and admire me from afar. .... what the hell?!?

nah... had to be juan.

nope. not him.

this time he got a bit huffy puffy at the fact that i asked him intensely if it were him this time or not. "well, send them back" he said. lol!

i called the flower company and they said they'd check to see if the sender wished to stay anonymous. they did. but, the customer service rep did let slip that it was "a man" sending all the flowers. i am definately intrigued. theflowers are gorgeous. and i find myself wishing it was juan, not some far off admirer. i also found myself wishing that he gave a bit more of a damn than usual.

so, i was able to get my vday fix. beautiful flowers, sunshine, hugs and kisses from my ladybug and a card from my daddy. eventhough i didn't get it from the one i love. no cards. no flowers. no intimate dinner for two. no ... well, maybe some love making (of course he'll take that-but in his mind, it won't have anythhing to do with valentines day!!). what do you do when the one you love hates the day that you are to celebrate the love you have for one another all year long?

well, you love them anyway. in spite of themselves. because love truly rules. when you let it.

today is the day for LOVE---HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

be well :)

in love with mr. fix it

ladybug was with my mommy dearest for the last few days, so hubby and i had some great quality time together.... just hanging out, lots of laughing, and doing what we do best (catch my drift..? *wicked smile*)

we didn't do much really, watched a few movie classics (our fav's) from netflix, got some take out from one of our favorite local spots that does a mean fried chicken. got up the next day and did some window shopping (he let me go without my wheelchair! eventhough it was in the trunk). but mainly, we just talked. and laughed. and teased each other about everything from 'back in the day when....'. and was just together. fun.

yes, he can be very difficult - sunsign leo different, and is the epitome of passive aggressiveness (more often than not). we've been together for about 17 years now, married for most of them. so yes, we have our issues, hell, i have my own (many of you know that i am a hoot and a mess!). i know that more often than not, juan has asked god what in the hell has he gotten himself into with me. but still, he can be a hot mess. and at times i find myself looking for our attorney's number because i'm ready to wrap my cane around his neck ...(just kidding babz!) but, the sex is great. and he's cute. and he really is a good guy. and, well... i love him. *sigh* god help me.

and he loves me. which is why i'm even more inspired to write about him today. like many of you already know, my other serious love affair is with my car (my T5) and driving it. i just love it, and as with ladybug, all the posts i've done about it just doesn't serve it justice (search T5 and see!). so over the summer, juan and i were rear ended in a 3 car hit and run as we were cruisin' through napa valley (only 35 minutes away - are you jealous?? lol), and the dashboard snapped or something. know one was hurt thank god, and other than the dashboard, there was no other damage - my T5 is no joke! we took it to the dealership for a once over, just to make sure, and they gave a structural and body thumbs up. just the dash, which they sent us to the body shop for estimates. we didn't like the amount they were talking, and rattling wasn't too bad... at the time. we didn't bother the our insurance company (gieco, which i love) mainly becuase the poor litle pregnant girl who hit us didn't have insurance, and it wasn't her fault in the first place. the guy hit her!

so we just left well enough alone.... til one day i just could'nt take it anymore. the squeeking has gotten so back that it makes me feel like i'm ridding in a hooptie, like i wanna jump out of the window! yes, my baby is only 8 years old, but she's in phenomenal shape! she's an extremely limited edition - only 1300 made in black in the world, with a racing engine (she can take out a porche without blinking - well, maybe tie) with 302 horsies under the hood (the 2008 porsche carrera has 325 i think) and she's as smooth as butter, they didn't make these engine specs for us market at all. i get purchase offers all the time! i just couldn't take it anymore!!

well, guess what my man is outside doing right now as i type??!!?? take a look....

he's just getting started here

yes, that's my makeup bag on the floor


yep, he's got the tools


ooh, this is hard for me to take!


oh, my baby!
oh, the agony...


this is my T5

yep, he loves me... i'll keep you posted!

be welll :)