LADYBUG:
Well, she’s 16 now
(guess I should change that picture, huh?), and is still the sweetest, easiest
kid ever. Truly. And I THANK GOD because I am not the kind of person that could
handle all that drama that comes with teen girls. We’ve been really struggling
with her the last 2 years with her learning differences though. She was
assessed in the 8th grade and diagnosed with Central and Auditory
Processing Disorder with working memory issues. We’ve done all sorts of
cognitive behavioral and executive functioning therapies along with hiring an
educational coach til tenth grade. She’s been in an amazing private college
prep high school with an equally amazing program for high achieving kids who
learn differently.
She’d been doing just
fine until May of last year; puberty hit and she began to crash and burn. We
worked with her over last summer, putting measures in place for her 11th
grade year and the school was great, doing everything they could to help and
support us/her. The allowed additional accommodations, assistive technology
devices (the LiveScribe smart pen), and the option to take tests orally. But…
she completely fell off the cliff. She did not pass the 11th grade.
It’s been a very
difficult time for us. She has really been floundering academically; funny
though, her spirits have been ok. After several meetings with her school
therapist, counselors, and teachers we decided to do an additional assessment in
February and found that she also has ADHD-Inattentive Type. So, after all was
said and done, it was clear that we needed to medicate her since we’d already
done all the cognitive and executive functioning strategies and tools that
basically just stopped working. It was a hard decision that we researched the
hell out of, particularly given my own medical history. Apparently, in girls
particularly, puberty can bring it on with a vengeance for those with an
already preexisting learning difference – like Ladybug. To manage the
medication I had to find a pediatric psychiatrist or a behavioral pediatrician and
was an odyssey in and of itself because there aren’t many doctors who take
teens, but I did. I interviewed her a few times before setting the appointment
for LB.
After a two hour
session with LB, the doc decided she was clinically depressed, and in order to
even address the ADHD, we had to deal with the depression. I didn’t fully
agree, but with my own clinical therapy background (my original training
waaaaaay back when), I understood that depression presents in many different
ways, especially in teen girls… So, I rode with it. This past April the doc
prescribed her a well-known medication for depression AND ADHD of which J and I
researched and green-lit it on an extremely tight timeline, along with weekly
therapy. After 3 months we saw no change. During this time I
mentioned this to the doc several times, who said we just needed to increase
the dose and let it get to therapeutic levels. Well, by the beginning of July
I’d had enough and had LB taper off. I made a list of the issues (mainly that
we didn’t think she was ‘clinically depressed’), the things we were still seeing,
and what our expectations where, then spoke with her. The doc totally blew me
off, told me I needed to “calm down and relax”, then blamed me
for all of LBs issues! Yep. She sure did. Then told me that nope, in fact LB
wasn’t clinically depressed after all, but that “she should be” because “she
has a terminally ill mother and all that goes with that”… Yep. She actually
said those words too. Also, that all LB needed was an “attitude adjustment”.
All with LB sitting right there in the room. Sigh. 
These last few months
have been beyond stressful. Seeing your child struggling, floundering, and not
knowing how to help her. That everything you’ve done and tried just isn’t
enough. Having to pull her form a school community we love, who love and
support her. I have shed some serious tears, along with LB. So… yes, I’m now
looking for another doctor and therapist because the issues have still not been
addressed. We’ve had to pull LB from school as a rising senior, and we will be
homeschooling her. Quite honestly, I feel amazing about the decision, but am
overwhelmed with all the information and options out there! But we’re all super
excited – mainly Ladybug! She’s never been a ‘classroom kid’, NEVER.
And she just learns differently. This way we can make school, well… learning
really, interesting, meaningful, and fun for her. Yes, she’s sad that she’ll be missing her
senior year and all the fun and activities that go with that, but she gets that
this is best and why.
I tell you, it’s been
a really tough year and I thought LAST YEAR was some shit!!! But at least for
this piece of it, it’s trying to come together, though I’m still trying to find
a doctor for her… I’m seeing some light in this particular tunnel.
Ang💜
