STRUGGLING (part 1)

Like I said before, a lot has been going on these last few years – health, ladybug, work, hell… LIFE! – and to catch you up would probably take an act of God. So, I’ll just give you the highlights and we’ll pick up from there.

LADYBUG:

Well, she’s 16 now (guess I should change that picture, huh?), and is still the sweetest, easiest kid ever. Truly. And I THANK GOD because I am not the kind of person that could handle all that drama that comes with teen girls. We’ve been really struggling with her the last 2 years with her learning differences though. She was assessed in the 8^th grade and diagnosed with Central and Auditory Processing Disorder with working memory issues. We’ve done all sorts of cognitive behavioral and executive functioning therapies along with hiring an educational coach til tenth grade. She’s been in an amazing private college prep high school with an equally amazing program for high achieving kids who learn differently.

She’d been doing just fine until May of last year; puberty hit and she began to crash and burn. We worked with her over last summer, putting measures in place for her 11^th grade year and the school was great, doing everything they could to help and support us/her. The allowed additional accommodations, assistive technology devices (the LiveScribe smart pen), and the option to take tests orally. But… she completely fell off the cliff. She did not pass the 11^th grade.

It’s been a very difficult time for us. She has really been floundering academically; funny though, her spirits have been ok. After several meetings with her school therapist, counselors, and teachers we decided to do an additional assessment in February and found that she also has ADHD-Inattentive Type. So, after all was said and done, it was clear that we needed to medicate her since we’d already done all the cognitive and executive functioning strategies and tools that basically just stopped working. It was a hard decision that we researched the hell out of, particularly given my own medical history. Apparently, in girls particularly, puberty can bring it on with a vengeance for those with an already preexisting learning difference – like Ladybug. To manage the medication I had to find a pediatric psychiatrist or a behavioral pediatrician and was an odyssey in and of itself because there aren’t many doctors who take teens, but I did. I interviewed her a few times before setting the appointment for LB.

After a two hour session with LB, the doc decided she was clinically depressed, and in order to even address the ADHD, we had to deal with the depression. I didn’t fully agree, but with my own clinical therapy background (my original training waaaaaay back when), I understood that depression presents in many different ways, especially in teen girls… So, I rode with it. This past April the doc prescribed her a well-known medication for depression AND ADHD of which J and I researched and green-lit it on an extremely tight timeline, along with weekly therapy. After 3 months we saw no change. During this time I mentioned this to the doc several times, who said we just needed to increase the dose and let it get to therapeutic levels. Well, by the beginning of July I’d had enough and had LB taper off. I made a list of the issues (mainly that we didn’t think she was ‘clinically depressed’), the things we were still seeing, and what our expectations where, then spoke with her. The doc totally blew me off, told me I needed to “calm down and relax”, then blamed me for all of LBs issues! Yep. She sure did. Then told me that nope, in fact LB wasn’t clinically depressed after all, but that “she should be” because “she has a terminally ill mother and all that goes with that”… Yep. She actually said those words too. Also, that all LB needed was an “attitude adjustment”. All with LB sitting right there in the room. Sigh.

These last few months have been beyond stressful. Seeing your child struggling, floundering, and not knowing how to help her. That everything you’ve done and tried just isn’t enough. Having to pull her form a school community we love, who love and support her. I have shed some serious tears, along with LB. So… yes, I’m now looking for another doctor and therapist because the issues have still not been addressed. We’ve had to pull LB from school as a rising senior, and we will be homeschooling her. Quite honestly, I feel amazing about the decision, but am overwhelmed with all the information and options out there! But we’re all super excited – mainly Ladybug! She’s never been a ‘classroom kid’, NEVER. And she just learns differently. This way we can make school, well… learning really, interesting, meaningful, and fun for her.  Yes, she’s sad that she’ll be missing her senior year and all the fun and activities that go with that, but she gets that this is best and why.

I tell you, it’s been a really tough year and I thought LAST YEAR was some shit!!! But at least for this piece of it, it’s trying to come together, though I’m still trying to find a doctor for her… I’m seeing some light in this particular tunnel.

Ang💜

Unfaithful

Dear Blog,

I’ve been unfaithful. I’ve been seriously involved in another social media relationship. Yep. There. I’ve said it. Sigh… Though I love you deeply, and have thought of you almost daily, truly missing you… this other relationship has been giving me something I’ve not gotten with you – instant and selfish gratification. Usually in the forms of good wishes and prayers, support, and political statements. Overall, the other relationship is just, well… quick, easy, passive. There isn’t a lot of deep or real work involved. It’s light. Whereas here, with you... I gotta put in some real work. This is a real commitment. Not that I'm afraid of that. No. I still love you, miss you, and am here to throw myself on your mercy and seek redemption.

If you can find a way to forgive me and be ok with this, I think we all can live together harmoniously, almost equitably actually. But the bottom line is that I need you. Badly. This time away has shown me that I need you. You help me connect with my soul, you help keep me real and honest. And now, I need that more than ever. So, if you’ll have me back…. Let’s get started.

Yes, of course a lot’s going on. It wouldn’t be my life if not, right? So much to get caught up on, so… stay tuned! 

Ang💜

Lost & Found

At my amazing surprise birthday party over the past holidays, I reconnected with my college friend and soul mate Marcia. We were at Spelman together during the best (and sometimes hard) times of my life, when I was growing into my own womanhood – well, we both were actually, and were the best of friends; we can’t remember when or how we even became friends! That girl knew her mind, and was unapologetically real and sassy, and made me believe and know that cussing could be elegant and artful. She was my first real grown up female friendship really, and we went through some (BEEEEEP) together. She taught me that young women could be real and genuine friends and sisters to and with each other; that we could support and love unconditionally and not always agree yet still be as tight as a new rubber band, with no side eye’d drama, no jealousy.

Yet, she seemed to always have some drama going on though – boyfriend drama, car drama, work drama, baby drama, financial drama – but she always kept her drama hers. She never allowed it spill over into the relationship, to pull me (or anyone else that it didn’t involve) in to the madness, or to let the relationship become all about the drama (and coming from a background of drama, I appreciated that). She never let it get or keep her down, and she really knew how to keep it moving, through it all, and I can’t even begin to tell you how that affected me. She was the first person in my life who had little to no demands of me, who could figure stuff out for herself, that didn’t want or need or expect fixing. She taught me to allow people to just be who they were, that you could love/care about someone from as is, even if they were crazy… just so long as they and their drama stayed on their side of the street; I could wave at them from my side, lol! She embraced whatever life threw at her, and it seemed to throw more than her share at her, but she handled it, owned her role in it, and kept it moving. I admired that.

Now, we also had a blast!! Some AMAZING times! OMG, She was THEEE (yes… theee) girl to know around Atlanta, and she knew every bouncer, doorman, and bartender at every ‘it’ club in town back then. She was carefree, full of laughter, passionate about who and what she cared about, and truly the original ‘Ride Or Die’ chick. And we were so crazy/good together that my big brother ‘Cedmo’ called us “Thelma and Louise”.

But we very abruptly lost touch due to a horrible marriage that isolated Marcia from all that made her her, just as those kind of dysfunctional, manipulative, sick, and twisted relationships do. She lost herself for a minute, but in true Marcia fashion… found herself again, and she’s only gotten even better. But during those years of disconnect, I searched for her relentlessly, because, you see… she was supposed to be at my wedding. She’s the reason Juan and I are together (a whole ‘nother post, lol!).  She’d had her reservations, but just didn’t show up (thanks to the Ex), and all of a sudden I couldn’t reach her, couldn’t find her, I was worried. So I searched for her. It was like she just fell of the earth. I even hired two different private investigators, on two different occasions and one of them said “the only thing I can tell you for certain is that she’s not dead”.

I held on to that, thinking of and talking about her almost daily, praying for her, her two boys (the first one she had while at Spelman and was like my own child, I was there when both were born), telling ladybug and anyone else who’d listen the exploits and adventures of me and “my crazy friend Marcia”.  While living my life with the huge and unfillable void her absence created was difficult, but I managed by thinking of what Marcia would do or how she’d handle certain situations, and even under what and which circumstances she’d cuss someone out, lol! Oh how I missed my friend. I’d daydream about finding her and reuniting, what it’d be like, how we’d be as true adults with families and careers and… less drama? Lol! But I also worried that we would be the same. I mean, of course we wouldn’t, but well…. I wondered if I had romanticized and idealized our relationship to the point of mystical legend. An unrealistic and unattainable template for ideal female relationships. Actually, that frightened me, assuming I’d ever see her again in the first place.

And don’t misunderstand, I developed some absolutely amazing and priceless relationships and sisterhoods over the years… I’m truly beyond blessed that way, and sometimes feel undeserving. Each one of my friends I actually call sister, are truly my sisters each with our own unique connection and deep bonds that are irreplaceable. It could be all one sided street (my side) because I’ve never had and always wanted sisters, but that’s just how I feel.



At surprise party trying to believe my eyes!

So fast forward to my surprise birthday party this past Christmas. Everyone that I love and care about, with only a few truly missed exceptions, were there. Juan did an amazing job! It was perfection! But the biggest ringer of them all was Marcia. JUAN HAD FOUND MARCIA! I couldn’t believe I was looking at her, holding her, speaking to her. I really thought I was gonna loose it. Honestly, it’s been seven months, with two visits under our belts and I’m still trying to process this. HE FOUND HER!

So, we’ve spent the last seven months talking, crying, visiting, laughing, dancing, catching up, and I kid you not when I say it’s as if the almost twenty years we’ve been apart has never been. Our relationships has grown up with us, even though we’ve been apart. Even though we are so very different, but yet the same. I’m here with her now, my first visit to her place two time zones and several states away, for the last eight days and I just don’t want to go! We’ve done absolutely NOTHING all day! (she’s a middle school teacher off for the summer) Well, we’ve laughed, made cocktails, eaten, cooked, drank, cried, danced, watched movies and cracked each other up. That’s it!  It’s just been too doggone hot to go anywhere, but mainly we’ve just been deep in discovery with no interruptions (like hubby or ladybug when she was visiting me earlier). We’ve each other all to ourselves and it’s been amazing.

As a young woman figuring out that thing called womanhood, I found the courage to be me because of Marcia, and that the me I was back then, and the me that I am today, is perfectly fabulous. I wish every woman young and old, could have a Marcia.

Be well ♥

Me and my 'Meme'

The Disappation of Guilt

And again, it’s been awhile. And again, I find myself feeling guilty for being so absent, especially when there’s so many of you who’ve loved, cheered, and prayed me through so many wonderful, tough, hilarious, and scary times. And even more so since there’s been so many amazing and challenging developments the last year that I know you all would have loved to have been clued in on.

I think I’ve figured out why I disappear... I sit down to start writing, then start thinking about all that I didn’t write about, feeling like I need to catch you up, then I start feeling guilty, and overwhelmed. The other, which I suspect may play more of a role then I’m wanting to admit, is figuring out just how much I want to expose. I myself have no problem with that… I’m an open book, so to speak. However, I find myself being more concerned about and sensitive to those close to me, and whether they’d want their business in the street, even though it’d be from my point of view, or wondering if I’m hurting their feelings. There. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.

But I don’t have time for guilt, or to be tip toeing around peoples feelings; as much as I do wrestle with it. Heck, other than Ladybug (‘LB’) and the Hub (my husband), most of “those close to me” don’t even know I have a blog. But, you never know…  

Anyway, I am back… yet again. And even though I have a lot of exciting things that I’m working on, and a lot going on (Ladybug is heading to high school!! ongoing health challenges, new business opportunities), I promise… I am here to stay.

So much beauty and adventure on the horizon and I'm excited...  

Be well ♥

hot fun part deux

hey everyone! still in atlanta so i'm sending lots of father's day love from here. i hope all you dads, grand dads, god fathers, uncles and all father figures are enjoying this day meant to celebrate you. as you all know, ladybug has a great dad. an amazing dad. sometimes a little too hands on... "that outfit looks too small to me" or " are those panty lines i see", but we wouldn't trade him in for the world because he is our world.

we normally don't make a big fuss for him because he doesn't like it at all, so it's always been low key, no big deal. but this year, he had to head home early to handle some things at the office, so we're not together, and interestingly enough, lauren camille and i feel it. even though we don't woop it up, we miss his presence. i love him.

anyway, back to vacation!! so as i was saying in the previous post, we surprised ladybug by heading down to disney world in orlando with all of juans family - it was great! but all the kids really wanted to do was hang out at the resort pools! so here are more pics...

first the sheer mass of people there was overwhelming at times! at the entrance there were people landing from almost every possible form of transportation sans air - trains, buses, ferry boats, cars, you name it!

i'll post the last round of disney pics tomorrow of all the fun at the pool. stay tunned!

this picture doesn't do justice the sheer mass of people swarming the entrance!

bodies everywhere!

here's the 'kid' gang

break time! that's me in the scooter

you know what this is, right?

hiding no longer...

well hello there

i have been hiding from my blog. 

at first i didn't realize it, but then i became aware that that's what i was doing. and why would i ever hide from my blog, of all things, you ask? well, because this is where, if no where else, i insist on being myself AND telling the truth. that's not to say i don't tell the truth or am not myself everywhere else in my life. oh no. any and everyone who knows me, knows that truth and being oneself is so very important to me. so no, i'm not one of those chicks who wouldn't know the truth if it knocked her in the head then tripped over it. 

but i have been hiding from 'me' lately, because i just didn't want to deal with the truth - my truth. which is that i am sick. no, i'm not just now realizing that i'm sick, but i see that i am still struggling to get my head around the fact i have limitations because of my health (and i don't like limitations!). but also hiding from the truth of what, to me, i was turning into - someone who was so busy lying about and covering up how i was really feeling (in terms of my health - not disclosing symptoms, pain, side effects, etc.), that i began to loose my sense of self and how i really felt about everything else. i think i didn't want to deal with things in general because i didn't want to deal with things related to my health. i just wanted to curl up on my comfy blue sofa and stare off into space while the foodnetwork played in the background (still do!). and whenever i would or do just that... avoiding things i feel i should be doing, or avoiding things that needed my attention, like - working on the foundation i started for the one (of many) disease i have that gets little to no attention (The Butterfly Project for Lupus); i'm in the process of re-launching my life coaching practice (Coach Angela), which i'm thankful is doing well, but i'm being 'called' to take it to another level; i run a thriving financial and small business management consulting firm with my father (i'm the CEO, he's the CFO) - i feel tremendous guilt. i hate using my health as an excuse or reason for not getting done what i feel i should have been able to. i know, don't say it....i'm working on that. 

anyway, i feel like i'm all over the place. but the bottom line is that i have not been truthful with myself nor those around me on so many levels, which is part of why i'm feeling 'stuck', and have avoided my blog because i promised myself that i would only tell the truth here. and i'm tired of feeling, being stuck. 

so no more hiding. no more lies.

be well :)

i know, i know... LOL!!

hey hey hey! it's me and i'm doing well :)

 i've just been busy beyond belief. you'd think i would have spent this time 'recovering from my transplant ordeal last year, but NOOOO.... c'mon, it's ME.  i just can't help it.

so what have i been up to?

- working on my foundation The Butterfly Project for Lupus (http://thebutterflyprojectfoundation.blogspot.com, and u can follow us on FaceBook too)

- gardening, sorry no pics from the beginning, our camera is on it's last legs and i'm lazy about downloading pics from my phone. but so far i've grown 2 types of carrots, 5 different types of tomatoes (roma, sweet 100's, cherry, yellow pear, and 'SF Fog'), tons and tons of slender sweet haricot vert (those skinny fancy green beans - LOVE them!), tons of different types of lettuces, 3 types of zucchini, several colorful sweet peppers - both regular and mini sizes.sage, rosemary, thyme, tarragon, and chives. oh and the flowers! tons of dahlia's, irish belles, fixgloves, jasmine, giant zinnias (they're over 5 feet tall!!), hummingbird penstamons, princess lillies. i'm so proud of myself because i started them all from seed!!! YES!  so now i'm getting my winter crops - cabbage, broccoli, more lettuce,spinach, carrots, and my peppers should be still going strong thru november. i'm a happy girl :)

- then there's 'work'... i've got alot on my plate. many of you already know that i run, with my dad, a boutique financial and small business consulting services firm where i also run my life coaching practice from as well  (coachangela.com and my new coaching blog which is under construction!). i had to put my coaching workshops on hiatus, and turn down or refer out several new clients for a little bit while i recovered from my procedures last yer, but i'm back to being busy now. it's a blessing to be self employed, be able ot work with my dad in a business that's thriving (even in this economy!), and that i love what i do and what i do truly touches people in ways that always amaze me!

- and then of course there's my family! the first love of my life - dearest juan my hubby, is still hanging in there. i swear, he must love me because he keeps coming home everyday, lol! i give him such a hard time, but i think he secretly loves it because he loves to fuss. and goodness knows i give him ample opportunity, lol! then there's my most beloved ladybug. she had a banner track season, again, and made it to the Junior Olympics in New Orleans earlier this year, but we didn't go. we chose to go home to atlanta (juan's home and my adopted one since college) for a much needed visit, and we had a blast. it's also where i got addicted to "piece of cake" cupcakes. oh they're truly dangerous. the best way to describe them is this review from Yelp "You literally have no idea. You just don't. This level of foodgasm-inducing dessert is so beyond your realm of understanding, it should have its own planet...Seriously." that's what i would have said, lol!

anyway, now that you're sort of caught up on everything. please know that i'll be much better about posting, because i really love to do it. i've just got to find the time and energy now, especially since i've started two other blogs and FaceBook accounts to maintain. but know that i'm back, and with pictures, lol!

be well friends :)

i'm back.....yes, again, lol!

well hey there!

how's things? i meant to post on valentine's day, to let you all know that i was sending love. i hope you all had a day full of love...i did!

so, yes, i'm back and SO MUCH has happened to where i would say to myself "ooh, i'm gonna blog this!", but yet there's still the same 'ole, same 'ole. everyone is well - juan and ladybug. she joined the 4th grade volleyball team at school, and began tennis and is turning out to be a natural athlete - like her mommy! yes, she's still running track and the season (along with the scheduling madness) has started. she did decide to drop girl scouts, of which i was disappointed, but totally understand why. with her schedule, she just didn't have the time, plus, she loves the other activities more than GS. and as for juan..? well, he's still chasing me around, trying to make me 'behave'. so no, not much has changed in that area!

as you see from my previous post, i was hospitalized for most of the fall, from early september to mid december, initially for my lung disease flaring up (pulmonary fibrosis), then that lead to a lung infection which kept me in isolation for two whole weeks - i could not leave my room and visitors were restricted to just immediate family for 14 days! yes, i was able to see my beloved ladybug practically daily, even though she was on the 'restricted list' because children are cootie factories, but thank God for the nurses - they just looked the other way!

for ladybug, this is one of her favorite places! mainly because the nurses spoil her rotten!

this was my 'home away from home'.

speaks for itself.

this is the monstrosity that cycles the blood/bone marrow and plasma in and out of my body. it's like dialysis in a way

i tried to capture the plasma and marrow going in/coming out. it's all heated too!

this is some of the plasma and blood product meds they treated me with over the 3 weeks

it wasn't all smiles

this contraption protruding from my neck is called a 'pigtail', and it's how all the blood/marrow and plasma gets in and out

 

the nurses love ladybug so much, and we spend so much time there, that they give her gifts!

juan's bed - yes, he stayed with me most nights. he and ladybug spent weekends

but i'm doing so much better now. the battle is still raging on though, just not at the previous levels. i was in the middle of a course of chemo last month when i suddenly and dramatically began to loose my hearing, to the point that i'm wearing a hearing aid. the docs aren't sure what's going on and are totally dumbfounded - i'm feeling sorry for my ENT specialist because you can see the frustration and desire to fix this for me (he's in love with ladybug) in his eyes and face. well, at least i can hear something - better than nothing. the benefits are that i can hear ladybug or juan being a little smart asses when they think i can't hear them - busted, lol!

overall, i'm on the mend and looking for some trouble to get myself into, lol!

  so please stay tuned, because ....I'M BACK!

playing catch up....again

**** THIS POST WAS DONE EARLY MONDAY MORNING ****
well here i am playing catch up again. yeah, yeah, i know ~ it's been a looong while now. sorry. have had alot on my plate, and not. there were day's that i was desperate to blog. especially when there was some little milestone of ladybugs to share, or was needing to vent about something hubby or mommy dearest had done.

but i always come back to the issue i have with how much of me i'm comfortable with sharing. for someone who's happy to share, who shares so much with everyone else, i'm finding it hard to understand why it feels so awkward for me to share here. hmmm....

anyway, it has been an interesting few weeks for sure! the school year is in full swing for my ladybug, and third grade is proving to be a wonderful adventure for her (as well as hubby and i!). she's had her first book report due and it was so much fun! along with the report, she had to do a diorama of her favorite scene in the book. that meant she got to go crazy with all my craft stuff. she was in heaven, and the project was a success.

there's also been a fair share of mama drama as well. i don't think i've ever talked about my mommy (yes, i call her mommy still) and our relationship here in the blog, other than dropping hints like when i call her 'mommy dearest'. yes, it's a very difficult, stressful, and above all else, toxic relationship - one that i really don't like to talk about. not because it's painful, but just that, well.... now after the long pause for a few rounds of computer solitaire in (my name is angela, and i am a computer solitaire addict) i just took to re-evaluate what i was about to say, i realize that yes, it really is painful. there's alot there, and even more so because of what's happened recently, i'll get more into the situation very soon. again, it's just too difficult, and too long for me to share in this post. after all, i'm playing catch up!

so, my life coaching practice is usually pretty steady, but it's going ganbusters right now, which is great! i love what i do oh so very much. it blesses me in such a way that, honestly, i feel, helps keep me going. my clients honor me with their trust and confidence, and i can't tell you how much it humbles me. how i appreciate and hold sacred the relationships i've developed. but i still have tons of work to do! i've got to get my website up and running and i've given myself a deadline of the end of the year. no, i don't need that much time to get a website up, but, well....

well, i've got to start chemotherapy again. yep. here we go again. i was suppose to start last thursday, but got a last minute reprieve. two of my doc's were out of town and weren't going to be back in time. so they pushed it to tomorrow, well today, monday. they both want to be in town due to the fact that i often have a mild reaction to one of the chemo drugs i get.
did i pitch a fit as usual when i got the news that i had to start up again? nope. that's right. i was calm, cool and collected. no pouting, no negotiating, well yes, there was some negotiating (c'mon on, it's me!!). i did pretty good when they told me. and i just can't explain my reaction really. i don't know. it's like i'm in this fog. like "whatever".

bummed? yep. i'm about a week shy of 17 months since my last round of chemo. i was told i'd never make it past 20 months. then that i'd never be able to go more than 3 months without need regular chemo. so going back feels like stepping back. you know that saying.... 3 steps forward, 2 steps back... not sure if i should even be posting about it now because i'm feeling really crappy about having to do this. the timing sucks too. i'm in the middle of creating a few new workshops, there's some new business ideas, contracts, and new business i want to go after. i don't want to be sick over the holidays. and ladybugs birthday is at the end of november. ok, now i'm angry. and ready to fight.

well, it's 2:28 am now so i'd better get in the bed. enjoy these pics.

be well :p

i know, i know!!!

it's been a while, sorry. i've been busy, well, sort of. nothing major really, just haven't made the blog a priority this last month or so. i'm working on that because my blog is important to me.

so with that said, let me catch you up on the happenings....

i'll start with my health. all is quiet on that front. i've been stable for a month or so, yet still have my daily challenges. getting around is hard and i'm constantly fighting with hubby about using the walker and the wheelchair, and i will continue to do so. i don't like them, and hate using them. although i concede that i do need them... from time to time. so there!

the bottom line is that i'm still sick and still have very yucky, and very hard days. yes, i am driving a very little bit, which makes me VERY HAPPY!! however, i've had to stop because after going a while with out having any siezures, i've had a few over the holiday weekend because i was probably doing too much, and definately off my routine. that's so very critical for me, to be in a routine, because i'm dealing with, struggling with, trying hard to live with, short term memory loss. so routine is critical. i have good days, not so good days, and fantastic days (regardig my memory). so, no driving for me for a little while. sigh......

things on the work front are going well and i've been quite busy, which i don't mind at all. you see, i'm a certified life coach. i help women to identify, deal with, and move through particular issues in their lives specifically involving work/life balance, finances, and employment/career. day in and day out i help them gain clarity and movement with setting and achieving their goals in these particularly important areas of life - AND I LOVE WHAT I DO!!! it's something i can do from home (or just abotu anywhere for that matter), most of the time, or even in the hospital! as long as i have my laptop, my cell phone, and my headset, i'm good to go, lol! mainly, i get to touch womens lives in a most profound and significant way and that's what and why i love what i do so much. are you passionate about what you do? you should be.

the family is doing well. we got back from reno, nv yesterday and are exhausted (part of why i've been having seizures lately). ladybug had her final track meet and did just fantastically - we are still in amazement! i'll post about that tomorrow (with pics!) because i want to get to fathers day. we had a nice, quiet one, full of love and appreciation. see the pics... i know it's several weeks late, but i hope all the dads out there had a great day too!

be well :)

biking along and other stuff

in my now ocassionaly usual fashion, i had forgotten to post a few pics and the short stories that go along with them. so the first batch are of ladybug learning how to ride her new bike pop got her as a late christmas present. she got a bike at the wee age of 3 and has been refusing to learn how to ride ever since.
well, my pop was having none of that any longer. two saturdays ago, he came up after her track practice and so he could put a stop to the madness. no grandchild of his was not gonna know how to ride a bike. and that was that. juan and i followed them down the street to the local elementary school and dropped of the bike. we stayed for just a few minutes before pops shooed us off, so we headed home, less than 10 minutes away. well, just as we were pulling into the garage pops called. "come on back, she's ready to show off for you!". juan and i couldn't believe it.



sure enough, she was cycling along with all the confidence of lance armstrong when we pulled up. she had it! now all she wants to do is ride! all she talks about is riding!
















now, about ladybugs hair. when i wash her hair i usually put the curls curly q products in her hair. i use the curly q custard, milkshake, and princess glaze on my childs crazy curly, crazy thick, and crazy beautiful hair. i let her rock her curls, twists often, but in ponytails mainly because that girls hair is so thick. ocassionaly i will flat iron it on special ocassionaly so she can wear her bangs. so, after i washed her hair this past saturday, i decided to blowdry it out instead just to 'see'. well HELLO!!!! i created a monster. she knew she was hot.






ok, so in my valentines day post i mentioned a secret admirer, sort of. i got a couple of bouquets of flowers that were just gorgeous. at first i just knew it was my daddy-that's so like him-nope. and we know it wasn't juan *smirk* i called a few more friends/business colleagues-nope. i couldn't figure out who were sending them to me. each day for 3 days, ending on vday. so, i
icalled the flower company to see if they'd clue me in-nope. but i didn't give up! finally a customer service rep slipped and i got to a manager who said they'd call the sender and see if they'd want to be revealed-nope. not completely. just that HE was someone from my past who still very much admirers me, that he ran into a mutual friend whom i'm very close with and that friend mentioned where i was and he found me from that. and..... i still don't know who he is. *sigh...*

















be well :)