ode to juan

i'm sure most of you have seen the posts where i talk about just how much i love my hubby, and what he means to me. and, how much i want to take my cane and wrap it around his neck! call the divorce attorney, pack all his crap up and set fire too it, then sell the rest (ala "waiting to exhale"), then pack him up and send him home to his mommy! lol!! and, well, i'm more than a notion (it's the 'bishop' in me!) , so i KNOW there are more than a few times where he's wanted to take my cane and to the same thing! lol!!! i hear that most married folk have those same moments too. heck, it's marriage, right?

well, yet again, this man continues to amaze me.

i had an obgyn appointment yesterday, and found out that i was not supposed to have been on birth control pills all this time that i've been sick because, with the diseases that i have, particularly the vasculitis and pulmonary fibrosis, they increase the development of blod clots, which i "throw" often (!!). not a good thing! so with that said, and after my obgyn got over that shock, we quickly decided that i must have an iud. and, because of my medical history, he said i should have the 'mirena'. we had ladybug with us, and he was up front in the waiting area with her. i wanted juan to know what was going on, so they went and got him to explain everything.

well, love of all love. didn't want to leave me, eventhough it was a very minor, in office procedure. love of all love, this man stood there in the exam room with me, held one of my legs, held my hand, all while the doctor did the procedure.

TMI i know. but, do you get, at least a little bit, just how this man is? what man do you know that would do that? let alone accompany they're woman to an annual gyn checkup? right, very few!

how wonderful is this man? i just can't tell you. because there are no words. just the feeling. he does stuff that i know most men would not do. and he does them with a smile on his face, and usually a smart ass remark to go with it.

what makes it so hard and frustrating for me is that he absolutely refuses to let me do things for him. goes out of his way even, to keep me, and my family, from doing things for him. in honor of him. how do i explain to him that it's something i have to do? that it's what people who love, treasure, respect, adore each other do. and it's simple things like fixing his plate. he's always been like that really. it's funny too. there are times when we're tripping over each other to take care of one another. because we love each other deeply.

this man love me. he loves me in a way that fills me completely. no, he's not a man of many words. yes, can be socially akward at times. has some big communication issues. his'ocd' non-cleaning cleaning addicition drives me crazy. and i swear, sometimes i think he speaking japanese, and he'd say that i'm speaking swahili. but he loves me. loves me so completely that those things don't matter..... most of the time.

and i love him. god, i love him.

be well :)