Monday, June 4, 2007

my first post!

wow. this is my first post. heady. i've been wanting to start a blog for a while now, and, for some reason, the idea intrgued and excited me, but scared me as well.

it's late on a sunday night, with a re-run of an oprah show - her favorite things for the summer show - playing on the tv. my little 5 year old ladybug, and my other half are upstairs sleeping soundly as i type. heady and excited at what i've just done. it's my secret for now. sweet and savory. mmmm.

i'm so excited that my disease riddled body is starting to ache in a familiarly bad way. uh-oh. a mini flare? or, OMG!! did i take my bedtime meds? hmm.... let me go count the pills to make sure. yep. i did. relief!! my life. i'm a pill popper now.

shucks. now my fingers, wrists, elbows, fore arms and on, all now ache. this damn lupus, ms, cancer, mixed connective tissue disease, interstitial lung disease (pulmonary fibrosis), vasculitis, whole autoimmune system shutdown, whatever the hell...

i'm hating it right now more than usual, because i really want to finish this inaugural post and play around with my new found freedom, of which i've been seriously lacking lately. but i cant. because i hurt. badly. yet i type anyway. with tears in my eyes as i listen to the beautifully full rich voice of india arie. mmmm. ...

i forgot for a moment that i'm mad. mad at those damn diseases. and i'm sleepy too. which, really, i should be happy about. due to all the meds i'm on, and the pain, sleep is a moving target for me.

no worries, no feeling sorry. my life is GREAT. i'll fill in the details later. i really have to go take some pain meds and lay my head down. hey, have you all seen that new pantene commercial? i just love it!! 'SHINE'.

well, i guess i'm no longer a blogger virgin. feels good this one. he, he!!

be well.

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