whah?! no class?! umpf!!

well, i had a rough night last night after i signed off. sleepy, yes. sleep? no. i was in quite a bit of pain. i don't know why. i haven't changed any of my meds, other than being stubborn about taking them - ha, ha!

what's the story you ask? ok, well, like i said in the first post. i have several auto immune diseases that are attacking me. you see, i am a classic over achiever and, like everything else i do, i got it good. um, well, bad.

it started in '04 when i callapsed and dear hubby (dh) took me in to the er. i spent a few weeks in icu, critical care, then finally oncology. after getting the diagnosis a few months later i began chemotherapy because the diseases were/are agressive in me - attacking my lungs, heart, muscle tissue, and viens. steady as she goes in and out of the hopsital a few times 'til october '06 then BAM!! i had a siezure and fell down the stairs. i spent a few more weeks in the hospital then the docs realize that it's in my brain. my damn brain. it has affected my mobility, speech, and i now suffer from short term memory loss. it's been rough. and i'm still here. i'm too damn stubborn.

so there's the part of the story. back to my post...

so, i had a hard time sleeping as usual. i get up to get ladybug ready for school this morning, but i'm feeling soo bad. when i feel like this i say i'm having a 'luppie kind of day'. the good thing is she doesnt have to be at kindergarten until noon, so i can take my time to shake off the lupies. anway, i washed ladybugs hair last night and really didn't feel like cobming it. i get her off to school and we're looking for her class, only to realize that not only did i forget her lunch, but class is over. OVER. it's the last week of school and they go from 8am to noon. UUGGGGHHHHH!!!!

i was so flustered and flabbergasted. what? how did i miss that? ok, yeah, i suffer from short term memory loss (stml), but still, i am one of those anal retentive organizing, planning, cross-checking freaks. even more so now. so, still, how did i miss it?? then i got mad at dh. he's supposed to be backing me up. he's been pretty darn good thru all the health drama - figuring things out, dealing with the doctors, insurance, medications ect... a very big deal for him, because you see, i've spoiled him. damnit!! he's back in his world now.

you see, our relationship has been/still is based on me doing everything - planning, figuring things out, paying bills, what's for dinner, shold we et this type of insurance or that one, yada, yada, yada... you get the picture, right? he relyed on me for everything. even to think for him (at least that's how i felt/feel at times... "shall i hold your dick for you, sweety?"). danm, damn, damn - he's back in his world now.

really, he is a good guy. so way better than alot out there. why? well, lets just say, uhhm, well, i hope and pray that your dh, spouse/partner/mate would wipe your butt and figure out how and where to put a panty liner on for you. things along those lines make up for him being a guy and a bit emotionally unavailable at times. but he really tries. that's another story for another post. it's getting late and i have to get ladybug to school by 8AM NOW. grrrrrrr......

be well :)