Friday, July 11, 2008

what would you say when, well, you're still here?

first, let me say sorry for staying away for so long, i hate worring you all. i've had quite a bit of busy-ness going on. but some great fun as well, so stay tuned! now, down to business!
if you had the opportunity to write your own eulogy, today, what would you say?

honestly, i wouldn't know what to write about myself. yeah, there's the usuall stuff, for me. like.. doing what's right, and living with intergirty, etc.. i really do go out of my way to do the right thing. we should do what we can to help people. i beleive strongly that truth and integrity is more than very important, and i am "truthful to a fault"... as my dad says (well, 99.99% of the time ;~)

anyway, i got to wondering about what i would say about myself. i got to thinking about whether or not i'm truly living a true, honest, and authentic life. am i being true to me? which happens to be my life goal. am i really doing it? am i really giving this goal the attention that i feel it deserves? it's hard for me to do right now actually. especially when, if you're like me. surrounded by people who go out of their way to be inauthentic. who have created, and insist on being in, their own world and truths. then inflict all that on me.

i know what i would like my eulogy to say. i think of all those who've passed on, and how everyone had such wonderful things to say about the. the good, the loving, the humble, the gracious, the authentic. of course i want all those words to be used when talking about me. but i want to BE those things now. for me. not for anyone else. not for anyone else to say that about me because they think i'm nice, or cute, or smart. or funny. or dealing with health life threatening health issues. NO. FOR ME.

this is important to me. because life is important to me. living is important to me. living fully, with joy, love, truth, intergrity, and great food (ha!) is critical to me. so this eulogy, this statement of my life, if you will, is me. but you see. i want this eulogy, to be the statement of my life NOW. how i live. as i live. why wait til i'm gone?

why wait til you're gone?

hmmm... so what would i say?

that i am living my life fully! with joy, passion, excitement! for my family. my daughter. oh my beautiful ladybug! my dear hubby. my wonderful friends. ah, my friends. that i love to laugh, and that great food, good music, and driving my beloved 'lil black "T-5" feed my soul. how i care deeply, and do for those in need. i always root for the 'underdog', and look for the good along with the great in people.

i'd like to go on really, but fear sounding vain. well, i am a bit vain, not modest at all, lol! but you know what i mean? what i'm really trying to say? i mean to say that i want to live to the highest degree of good. get as close to god as i can, quietly, gently, humbly, through my living. i may not be using the right words to express myself. me and my aphasia. (frustration)

so what would your eulogy, no, life statement be? what would you say about you? as you live?

be well :)

for me, being authentic means being true to myself and my interactions with others - my feelings, my thoughts, my passions, needs, and wants, and communicating them with honesty, truth, compassion, empathy, and integrity.... right now at least. :)

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