what a send off

wow! i'm in tears as i type this, rushed because i am literally walking out the door as juan fusses to "let's go!"

thank you all so very, very much. you have no idea. i know that the power of prayer heals. it's why i'm still here. i am so very blessed! oh shucks!! more fussing from you know who...

i've got to go now. i just had to say thanks. i'll post again when i get home.

and to my sweet sweet love, the ulitmate warrior queen. babz. *tears* i love you!
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*** he left me so i'm back....
that husband of mine, i tell you!! he was stomping around upstairs, while yelling "let's go!!". i was all ready (because that's how i am!) just typing this post. well, he see's that i'm on the computer and then declares " i thought you were down here waiting on me!" and of course didn't hear what i said about being ready. so then he says he'll just have to take lauren camille and come back and get me. honestly, i didn't say a word because he's stressed, and i don't want to make it any worse, and... i wanted to finishe this post!
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i'll be back later!

with much love!!

gearing up for chemo

it's a good day today. the sun is out. there's a gentle breeze. a sort of crispness. ideal really. a good day for it to be the day before the day i start chemo.

i'm a bit dicombobulated right now though. and having a hard time finding my words today. major brain fog, or morphine fog, or i'm just feeling too many things right now, so i'll probably ramble through this post.

yes, i start chemo tomorrow. then another dose on friday. then repeat in two weeks. i want to say that the timing sucks. but really, when is there a good tome for chemo? it's that i've managed to go exactly 8 months to the day with no chemo, which is a major record. until now, i'd never been able to go longer than 3 months. (woo hoo!!) so why am i feeling pouty and ungreatful? well, i've got things to do, places to go, people to see!

and for the record, i'm not pouty and ungreatful. not even having a 'moment'. it's just that i do have things to do, places to go, and people to see. really. yes, i am supposed to be slowing down, not even working really (total and permanent disability... me? yeah, right). and i've added that to my list of things to do too. really. i'm working on it. and being the overachiever that i am, i'm doing pretty good with it. but...

i'm still here. i'm still me. and must go on with the business of being me while living. and what that is or means for me is to do, go, and see. no, no i won't "over do it", and i'll "behave". but i must still be the me that i am. so,well, that does mean abit over doing it and misbehaving. just a bit slower, quieter, and with less hair and no eyebrows.

i don't think i've ever discussed what it is that i do. so i will now tell you what that is. i am a certified professional life coach. i primarily help women gain clarity, and make important decisions about things that are critically important to them, then set goals and develop action plans in order to take the necessary steps to reach them. my main focus is in the areas of work/life balance and time management, financial, and career issues. for me it's all about making the commitment to yourself to take care of yourself. we women are all so busy taking care of everyone else, putting everyone else and their needs/requrements before our own, along with not being able to say the word "no", that we are actually killing ourselves. ok, i'll get off my soap box for now and save it for another post (see this post for a bigger taste). just know that i love helping women discover their own power and creating action plans to help them use it!!

anyway, see how i perked right up? that's me. and i have to be me. so off to chemo i go. with a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and tons of love and faithful prayer warriors lifting up, oh so high! . so i'm all good, ya know? and this chemo ain't nothing but a thang.

you must do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. or something like that!

on another note, one year ago today is the day that i started this blog. this wonderful thing called blogging has helped me, kept me, blessed me. and i am blessed and happy. i originally thought i'd have some neat and cute comment about it being my blogs b-day, but i don't. i'm just glad that i have it. and you all. i thank you.

with so much love....

be well :)

"This Is Our Moment"

i am sitting here, in my big comy blue sofa, in tears. good tears. celebratory tears. because it's official. Barack Obama now has more than the minimum required delegates to be considered, declared, the democratic presidential nominee. this is heady stuff. it's historical stuff.

as i've said time and time again, i'm not eloquent. i'm not a writer. so my words will fall short of truly, accurately, meaningfully describing what this moment means to me. what this moment may mean to many.

right now, i am thinking of my great aunt jean in pensacola, florida who, at 74 years old, has seen quite a bit in her life - in house telephones and bathrooms; affordable personal automobiles; the civil rights movement; regular space travel; the feminist movement; the (seemingly) blurring of the color line; the internet age; cell phones. yes, quite a bit. **more tears**

she is now baring witness to history once again. she has lived her life, like so many, believing, knowing that it was not a possiblity for a man like Barack Obama to have an opportunity to become the President of the United States of America. how sweet this moment must be for her. i grew up knowing that it is possible for someone like Barack Obama, or like my father, or, even, a woman like me, to have the chance to become President of these United States. how sweet this moment is for me. for my little brother. my parents. my 6 year old daughter. for so many.

*** it is now the day after - june 4th***

i am baring witness to history as well now too. it's different now. the sun is brighter. the trees are greener. music is sweeter. my smile is bigger. my comfy blue sofa is bluer and softer. it's different now. i'm high. high on hope.

be well... be hopeful :)

her majesty, princess inkyfingers

ok, juan has been really on me to get another site up that's just for my cards and scrapbooking. so.... i finally did it. PRINCESS INKYFINGERS is now up (http://princessinkyfingers.blogspot.com)

it's still a work in progress, especially since juan called me up moments ago and said, basically, to 'get it done'. love a man in charge, lol!! so i just very quickly posted some pic's. i'm still working on my watermark and copywrite stuff, but please check it out! and if you want to purchase or place an order for anything, please let me know, i will be more than happy to take care of you!

also, i will start conducting classes, once i get my wits about me after chemo.

be well :)

must... cook... soon..

ok, i don't know how long it's been since i've cooked!! i've been in the kitchen for sure.... my favorite oatmeal and raisin cookies from wholefoods. those frozen taquitos i like from the grocery store. i've run a few loads of dishes. several boxes of ritz crackers (i have a serious problem with them that i will discuss at a later time). swept. swiffered. mopped. wiped down the countertops countless times (do not get black granite countertops!!)

but cook? nope. and i am feeling it in a major way. my all clads are calling. the knives quietly whisper. the cuisinart stares longingly. the stove. oh my stove... it's quite possible that they all won't speak to me when i return due to neglect and subjecting them to juan (i know babz, i can't say anything bad about him, so... don't read this part!).

i've got to cook soon or i'm gonna go crazy!!

so here's the plan... i'm going to call my 'lil sis shan and bribe her with gas money (hell, it's about $4.20 or so in these parts!) and a hot cooked meal to take me to whole foods or trader joe's to pick up some much needed groceries.

must digress for a moment..... so babz, stop reading now.... as you all know, i'm very limited with my driving, and well, really shouldn't be driving at all, therefore juan has been doing all the food shopping. and you know what that means.... just the very basics - bread, juice, pasta, and lots of canned goods, along with lots of little debbies, gatoraide, cookies, chocolate covered raisins and other what nots. don't get me wrong, juan really does a fantastic job, most of the time. but he's a man. and like i've said in my previous post, i want to do the grocery shopping. i like to do the grocery shopping.

you can start reading again babz...

i'm gonna pic a few good dishes for the upcoming week, make a fabulous grocery list, come home and cook my heart out!! let's see... a stuffed roasted pork loin with cabbage and apples and maybe some confetti rice. then maybe some salmon with lemon, caper and garlic sauce with augratin potatoes and asparagus. how about stuffed pasta shells with ground turkey and cheeses in a garlic cream sauce with a litlle bit of red wine red sauce too. hmmm a good 'ole fashioned herb roasted chicken or beef roast with creamy mashed yukon gold mashed potatoes and some spinach may do the trick too.

i've got to do this before i start chemo next week. i'll keep you posted!

be well :)

not just to party.

hey there!

all is well on my end. how's it going with you all? mommy had ladybug almost all weeked. she's going to start keeping her a day or two during the week to give juan and i a brake (yipee!!), especially since she's got this track schedule from hell and i'm starting chemo soon. juan and i rested and watched all the great military movies. i just love 'em! yes, yes.. i do. and i love john wayne movies too! and i better not hear a peep about it! (you should have read my profile page!)

overall, it's been a nice and quiet holiday weekend. just a little bit of ruckus... you know, the holiday bbq's and parties. and that's fine, i love a good bbq/party (many of you know how much i love to entertain!). only, i got to wondering though. the whole point of this holiday is to remember, and honor those who serve. those who voluntarily place themselves in harms way. for us. americans. and america. all that we, and this country stands for. and all this country is about. good and not so great. home.

so, i got to wondering. with all that laughter i heard. the music. the dancing. eating. drinking. i wondered. how many of those folks have given any thought, true thought, about this 'holiday'. Memorial Day.

so much goodness. kindness. trust. respect. strength. courage. and honor.

yes, there's so much bad going on when it comes to our military - the pay, the conditions, the injured and lack of aftercare, it goes on really. and i'd really like to discuss that too, but i'm not. not in ths post. this post is all about how much i love them. yes. i do. i love them.

i think about all that they must sacrafice. endure. and willingly. it fills me with such admiration. such pride. respect. awe. and love.

they are the best of america. and i honor them.

be well :)

my baby's still running!

ladybug had another meet this past weekend adn did very well!

1st in the 100meter, 3rd in the 4x100 relay, and 4th in the 200 meter. she was tired by the time the 200 came because she likes to play hard too. all that girl wants to do is run and play. i don't think she gets the whole 'track' thing. all she knows is that she gets to run, run, run... and play in between!!

i just love this girl.

be well :)