Wednesday, June 4, 2008

gearing up for chemo

it's a good day today. the sun is out. there's a gentle breeze. a sort of crispness. ideal really. a good day for it to be the day before the day i start chemo.

i'm a bit dicombobulated right now though. and having a hard time finding my words today. major brain fog, or morphine fog, or i'm just feeling too many things right now, so i'll probably ramble through this post.

yes, i start chemo tomorrow. then another dose on friday. then repeat in two weeks. i want to say that the timing sucks. but really, when is there a good tome for chemo? it's that i've managed to go exactly 8 months to the day with no chemo, which is a major record. until now, i'd never been able to go longer than 3 months. (woo hoo!!) so why am i feeling pouty and ungreatful? well, i've got things to do, places to go, people to see!

and for the record, i'm not pouty and ungreatful. not even having a 'moment'. it's just that i do have things to do, places to go, and people to see. really. yes, i am supposed to be slowing down, not even working really (total and permanent disability... me? yeah, right). and i've added that to my list of things to do too. really. i'm working on it. and being the overachiever that i am, i'm doing pretty good with it. but...

i'm still here. i'm still me. and must go on with the business of being me while living. and what that is or means for me is to do, go, and see. no, no i won't "over do it", and i'll "behave". but i must still be the me that i am. so,well, that does mean abit over doing it and misbehaving. just a bit slower, quieter, and with less hair and no eyebrows.

i don't think i've ever discussed what it is that i do. so i will now tell you what that is. i am a certified professional life coach. i primarily help women gain clarity, and make important decisions about things that are critically important to them, then set goals and develop action plans in order to take the necessary steps to reach them. my main focus is in the areas of work/life balance and time management, financial, and career issues. for me it's all about making the commitment to yourself to take care of yourself. we women are all so busy taking care of everyone else, putting everyone else and their needs/requrements before our own, along with not being able to say the word "no", that we are actually killing ourselves. ok, i'll get off my soap box for now and save it for another post (see this post for a bigger taste). just know that i love helping women discover their own power and creating action plans to help them use it!!

anyway, see how i perked right up? that's me. and i have to be me. so off to chemo i go. with a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and tons of love and faithful prayer warriors lifting up, oh so high! . so i'm all good, ya know? and this chemo ain't nothing but a thang.
you must do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. or something like that!
on another note, one year ago today is the day that i started this blog. this wonderful thing called blogging has helped me, kept me, blessed me. and i am blessed and happy. i originally thought i'd have some neat and cute comment about it being my blogs b-day, but i don't. i'm just glad that i have it. and you all. i thank you.
with so much love....
be well :)

7 comments:

Lovebabz said...

You have to be the most courageous Princess I know!

You have helped me! You have liscened to me, you have supported my blog...which I am celebrating 1 year too!

There were days that I just didn't think I could make it through and here you come with an encouraging email or post.

When you and My favorite husband Juan went to Paris, I was with you...my dream too! I am with you NOW. You know I am strong willed. I will stand in the face of GOD and plead for him to make you well. I will fly to CA and leave children and Hearth to sit with you.

You mean the world to me. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!

You know some of my secrets. You know my life and you still like me.

Fight. FIGHT.

You know this is just another hurdle. Just another hurdle. We all have them.

I need you.

Do what they tell you PLEASE!

CapCity said...

Sending HEALING HUGZ of HOPE with PRAYERS for U my DEAR inspirational PRINCESS!!! Looking forward to meeting & hugging u in person!

Aunt Jackie said...

I had to come over and check out a fellow East Oakland Sista and low and behold I see that you are a warrior Princess fighting the good fight.

I send you positive healing energy thru the cyber waves and I'll be back to check on you!

Ali's Zay said...

Dear Princess,

Having only recently met you, I don’t know you very well. But I do know Babz. I strongly suggest that you listen to her and give her whatever she wants as she will nag you to death if you don’t and you are too young and pretty to die. Besides, you have places to go, people to see, and all that stuff. Don’t mind Babz, she’s not trying to kill you, she just get all dramatic like that when she really loves someone. Don’t ask me how I know, in fact I have already said too much :-)

On a serious note, your positive energy radiates from your blog. The world is a richer place because of it, and because of you. You are very much alive, but please try not to kick the doctors too hard :-)

Peace, Love and God’s Richest Blessings

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)

Lance said...

much love, thoughts and prayers to you PTB...though your facing chemo treatments one-on-one, we're right behind you with love, support and encouragement.

never, ever give up...

if God can bring you to it, then He can bring you through it.

Stay Blessed...

Ms Smack said...

Let the love of your family and your children, loved ones and fond friends stay with you during this challenging time.

I'm sending you all my warmest, kindest, most sincere wishes from Australia.

*hugs*
Miss Smack

Princess Tinybutt said...

hay y'all! thanks so much for your kind words, thought, prayers, and love. you have no idea how this has made me feel. they strengthen me. encourage me. lift me. your sentiments have sent me off to battle so very well armed and ready for battle. i had you all with me, i felt you. i thank you. i love you.

angela